A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Jason and I have decided to take advantage of the lovely weather and our prime Northern Virginia location and spend some time in and around our neighborhood today.

First stop….our local farmer’s market. It had been awhile since I’d visited the market (which is open every Saturday throughout the entire year) and I was definitely kicking myself for not making an appearance earlier this spring. The market was teaming with plants, herbs, asparagus, free range meats, fresh cheese, and the first signs of strawberry season! We got a little excited and came home with:

Some huge asparagus

A pretty garden bouquet

And strawberries.

Lots of strawberries.

(Keep your eyes out for some strawberry based recipes to come in the next couple of days.)



Next on our agenda….hiking around Roosevelt Island! And possibly a trip to Eventide's rooftop this evening.

How are you spending your Saturday?

Kicking it Up a Notch

There’s nothing like getting measured for a bridesmaid’s (ahem, matron of honor) dress to make you feel really bad about yourself. Why these traditional dress designers (e.g., not J.Crew or Ann Taylor where you get to order a size that is akin to what you normally wear) have to have sizes that run small, I’ll never know. But it really sucks to be told you need to order a dress that is two or even three sizes bigger than what you wear regularly. I know size is nothing but a number and all that, but it really is demoralizing.

But it also serves as just the motivation I need to get in shape! When I last spoke about my battle with the dreaded Newlywed Nine, I was starting to get on a better workout routine. Doing that was easier said than done given my crazy travel schedule. However, last week (my first back with no travel) I worked out three days and did a long walk (almost 4 miles total) with Jason another day. But this week, I’m kicking it up a notch and have started alternating cardio (either the treadmill at the gym or one of my DVDs—Turbo Jam and 30 Day Shred are my go-tos) and targeted toning. 

To help with this, I recently bought Denise Austin’s Hit the Spot Target Toners DVD. It includes 10 five-minute workouts each targeting a specific muscle group. You can do all 10 for a 50 minute, total body workout or you can create your own shorter combo. Today, I did my own routine of arms, shoulders, hips, and butt.  Denise can be kind of annoying with her super peppy “you can do it” attitude but the workouts are so short that they go by really quickly and it’s hard to get bored. We’ll see what kind of results I get.

Hopefully this goal of doing something every day (even if it is just 20 minutes of toning) and incorporating some weight/strength based exercises will help kick-start my metabolism and keep me on track!

What helps get you motivated to stay healthy?

Just Call Him Paula Deen

Backstory: If I let him, Jason would eat at least 5 rolls with dinner every night. With a stick of butter. It's why I either don't serve bread with dinner very often or only buy the 4 count can of crescent rolls.

This g-chat just happened.

Me: I'm getting ready to go to the grocery store...in the rain :(
anything else you want/need?

Jason:  crescent rolls
lots of em

Me:  hahaha
I think we have a can in the fridge already

Jason:  or any other bread

Me:  just to snack on?

Jason:  that I can put butter on
I dunno
don't worry about it

Me:  yes, that is why you like bread so much...because it is really a vehicle for butter!

Jason:  yup

Planning Our Future, Together

One of the hardest things about being married for me (aside from divvying up the household chores and living in tight quarters) has been getting used to the whole notion of shared decision making.  I don’t know about a lot of you, but prior to getting married I was an independent person who really did not rely on anyone else to make important life decisions. Sure, I would ask my parents or close friends, people who I trust and respect, for advice from time to time, but when push came to shove, I was the one responsible for my fate. And there is a lot of freedom in not having to answer to anyone but yourself. That changes quite a bit once you say “I do.” All of sudden, you are a part of a team. And every decision, big or small, has the ability to impact the other person. So it is important that couples get into the habit of making these decisions together. Otherwise you could find yourself in an unhappy situation down the road (to say the least).

The first time I really came face to face with this idea of having to make any/all decisions TOGETHER was last fall when my phone died. At the time, Jason and I still had separate Verizon accounts and while we had been talking about getting on a family share plan and upgrading our phones, we had not yet taken that step. When my phone died, it seemed like just that push we needed to move ahead.  Well it just so happened my phone died two weeks before the Motorola Droid was about to come out. And being the tech guru that he is, Jason just did not want to make any changes to his account/upgrade his phone until the Droid was out.  Basically he thought I should just go two weeks without a phone. I, on the other hand, thought I deserved to be able to communicate with the outside world and that he should stop being a poop-head (to put it nicely). So for two days we argued about stinking phones. Eventually, we found a compromise that met both our needs (and that allowed us both to get Droids in the process) but it certainly illustrated to me just how complicated this whole marriage/making decisions together thing can be.

Fast forward to the last several months where we have moved past phones and are now talking about much bigger things like how much money to spend/save and where to live. Jason and I have been talking about our future A LOT lately. As I previously mentioned, we are saving up to buy a house.  But before we can take that step we need to figure out where we should be looking. The DC Metro area is pretty big. And where you live here depends on a) how much you can afford (given that the DC metro area is also one of the most expensive areas to live in) and b) where you work/how far you are willing to commute (assuming you aren't millionaires which we are not).

Jason and I are both considering whether we want to change jobs in the not too distant future which means that issue needs to be figured out before we can get too far in the housing search. This is turning out to be easier said than done. Already we are running in to issues of possible job opportunities that are NO WHERE near each other (i.e. potentially in different states, several hours away from each other) which means one of three things could happen:  1) one or both of us could end up with a really bad commute (which neither of us particularly want to do) if we both end up with these disparate jobs and try to live somewhere in the middle; 2) one of us may end up not being able to pursue the job he/she is interested in (also a sucky option); and/or 3) we may end up having to leave the DC Metro area completely.

This is complicated stuff. Really complicated.  To be honest, I am really scared that someone could end up unhappy and maybe even resentful down the road if we aren’t careful. But I am comforted by the fact that we are both open to the possibilities, that we are talking about it a lot, and we are committed to finding a compromise that will make both of us happy in the long-run.  (I am also keeping my fingers crossed that other opportunities will come up that won’t necessitate us having to make some of these difficult choices.)  And if nothing else, I know that we are in it together (which is one of the best things about being married).

Battling the Newlywed Nine

When Jason and I got married last fall I was in decent shape. Not the best shape of my life, but certainly not the worst. I was eating pretty healthy, working out 4-5 times a week and feeling pretty good about myself. Unfortunately, once the wedding was over I fell off the wagon to a certain degree and have experienced some newlywed weight gain.  This is not terribly unusual, from what I can tell. According to research, individuals in long-term relationships are more likely to gain weight than their single counterparts. This can be for a variety of reasons—complacency, eating more (when cooking for two or eating out more often than when you were solo), staying in instead of going out, etc.  The biggest issue for me, I think, is that I have completely lost my exercise routine (which even more recent research has shown is critical to preventing weight gain in women as we age).  And early on in our marriage I was so excited about cooking for my new husband on a regular basis I tended to go overboard, making more luxurious dishes and desserts than were necessary. So my goals for the second half of our year as newlyweds are to 1) get back into a good workout routine, 2) incorporate more vegetarian/salad based meals into our diets,  and 3) eat smaller portion sizes (because Jason and I should not be eating the same amount of food!) Hopefully by putting it out there, you all will help keep me accountable—if you see too many decadent dishes on this blog, feel free to call me out!

To help get things started on the right foot, I decided to make a big salad for dinner last night. This particular salad happens to be a family favorite. It includes roasted beets (which we happen to eat a lot of around here despite that fact that apparently the public does not), pecans, and goat cheese (which tends to be lower in fat and calories than cow’s milk cheese).  To round it out, I added some left over roast chicken from last night’s dinner and a quick mustard/white balsamic vinaigrette. Healthy and delicious!

 Served with crescent rolls because you gotta have a little bit of carbs (plus they're Jason's favorites!)

Roasted Beet Salad with Pecans and Goat Cheese

Ingredients:
3 golden or red beets or combination thereof (I used golden this time because they don’t bleed as much as the red beets do)
Salad greens
2 oz goat cheese, crumbled
¼ cup of chopped pecans (more or less depending on your own taste, can also use walnuts or pine nuts)
3 cups of salad greens (we used baby romaine)
1/3 cup of shredded roast chicken (optional)
2 Teaspoons of Dijon mustard
1 TBL white balsamic vinegar
3 TBL olive oil
Salt and pepper

1.To roast your beets, preheat oven to 450 degrees. Wrap each beet individually with aluminum foil and place on rimmed baking sheet. Roast until beets are tender, about 45 minutes. Open aluminum foil and let beets cool until able to handle. Rub the beet between the aluminum foil to remove skins. Cut into chunks.
2.Place salad greens in large serving bowl. Add beets, pecans, crumbled goat cheese, and chicken if using.
3.Make dressing by whisking vinegar and mustard together. Slowly stream in olive oil and whisk until emulsified. Add salt and pepper to taste.
4.Toss dressing (as much as you like) with salad and serve.

Cultivating Common Interests

You know what they say:

The couple that plays together….

Hiking (Old Rag circa 2007)

 Snorkeling (in Aruba)

 

Playing mini golf (usually when with my parents)

 

Kayaking (last week in South Carolina)

…stays together.

Letting Go

Jason and I are hightailing it out of here for a few days of rest and relaxation with family and friends in South Carolina. I am looking forward to this trip for many reasons, not the least of which is because I don’t have to do anything to plan for it. Ok, so I did most of the travel planning—i.e. researching airfares and rental cars. But other than that I am just along for the ride. This is a big change of pace for me when it comes to taking trips.

Hi, my name is Lindsay and I am planner. While this is true in my day-to-day life (which I am sure Jason would be more than happy to attest to) it is even more evident when it comes to traveling.

I am a pretty Type A person. I like itineraries and agendas. I like to know where I am going and what I am going to do when I get there. I also enjoy doing new things and seeing new places and when I am there, I want to make the most of it.

Part of my guidebook collection

The first thing I usually do once a trip has been confirmed is to buy a guidebook (or two or three) and figure out where I want to go and what I want to do there.  Lately it has gotten to the point where I color code particular activities with these handy-dandy post it flags. (While seemingly anal retentive, it actually makes for easy reference when you are out and about and need restaurant ideas in a certain neighborhood on the fly.)

Jason is not much of a planner. I think he would be happy to just fire up the netbook and figure out where to go and what to do once we got there. But, to me, that is just wasting precious time in a place you may never visit again! I can understand where he is coming from though, planning every minute of your trip can eliminate a certain level of spontaneity. And I also have a tendency to over schedule. On our honeymoon, for example, we spent more time on the go visiting every corner of Kauai then we did sitting on a beach (tropical drink in hand) and enjoying our first few days of wedded bliss. But at least we saw every inch of the place!

You can see the color coded flags...blue was water-based activities, orange was restaurants, etc.

While I enjoy planning trips and the satisfaction it brings when I check all those places off my internal list of things to see/do, it can be exhausting.  So it is really nice when you can kick back and let someone else take the wheel.  Which is why I look forward to our annual SC trip. It is familiar. It is comforting.  And it really allows me to let go and enjoy the ride.

Trading Spaces

As you have probably gathered from previous posts, Jason and I are not yet homeowners. When we got married we decided that Jason would move into my one-bedroom apartment while we saved for a house.  Now, six months in, I feel like the annoying child on a family car trip who is constantly asking “are we there yet?”

In other words, I am ready to upgrade to somewhere with a little more space.

Really ready.

I mean, come on….we live in a one-bedroom apartment. Granted it is a very large one bedroom apartment, but there is still not a whole lot of privacy or the ability to have true “alone time” when both of us are at home. This becomes really apparent during the occasional fight when you realize you can’t retreat to your respective corners to cool off because THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO.  You either have to deal with the other person right then and there or you have to sit in the parking lot of Barnes and Noble and stew (you know, hypothetically speaking).

But even more problematic is the lack of storage space. It was a miracle that we were able to squeeze all of our stuff (both pre-wedding items as well as the deluge of things we received as part of the wedding) into this apartment.  True story: the day that Jason finished moving the last of his stuff in and I realized how much we still had to put away I went into the bathroom (because there was nowhere else to be alone!), closed the door and cried for about 10 minutes. Then I came out and we figured out how to make it all work.


The kitchen is the worst. While most of the living space (e.g., bedroom, living room, dining room) is decently sized, the kitchen is pretty tiny.

And given that one side opens up to the dining room area, the number and size of cabinets are limited. This results in cabinets that look like this:

One cabinet for food storage

And this:

One half-sized cabinet for spices and baking staples

Oh and this:

I could go on and on and on.

Now I will admit I have more kitchen stuff than is probably necessary. But I like to cook so I obviously gravitate to these things (as do friends and family when they are looking for gift ideas).  Could I do with less? Of course. But I don’t think wanting a larger kitchen is too much to ask. Especially when you have to resort to storing pantry staples on your countertops.

 Notice the vinegars and oils to the left of the coffee maker (we also have similar things next to the KitchenAid mixer that you may have noticed in a previous post)

Or on top of the refrigerator.

But it’s not just the kitchen. Our closet is a total disaster (so bad, I am too embarrassed to show pictures of it publicly) and we have stuff piled EVERYWHERE. For example, if I had an extra closet I would put all of my gift wrapping paraphernalia (wrapping paper, gift bags, boxes, ribbons, etc.) in it. Instead it sits in  a nook to the side of the dresser in our bedroom. (Note to my super-organized friend Stephanie-- feel free to look away from the next picture. It might make you feel sick!)

Even our tiny balcony has to be used for storage—fortunately Jason was able to figure out a creative (and space-saving) way to store his bike out there.

I would consider myself to be a fairly organized person who tries to keep things neat. But it’s getting more and more difficult to care. Often times I think:  “What’s the point? This place is always going to be on the verge of being a disaster.”

It’s enough to drive a person crazy.

But I am hopeful. We have a plan in place and a timeline in mind. I just hope I can make it there without totally losing it.

Love is Never Having to Argue Over the Remote, or: How I Stopped Watching and Learned to Love the Calm

I don’t know about you, but in my house it was my dad who was almost always in charge of the remote.  Once it was in his hands, he would not let it go. It was so bad that if he dozed off while watching something no one else wanted to watch (usually golf), and you tried to quietly slip the remote out of his hand, he’d immediately snap “I’m watching that!” and tighten his grip. Seriously, it got to the point where if my mom or I somehow gained ownership of the thing we would guard it, even hide it, just to be able to hold on to it for an entire episode of whatever circa 1995 show we wanted to watch (because my dad also liked to watch about three shows at once which meant you always missed a key moment or awesome one-liner in any given episode when he’d inevitably flip back from the commercial break a minute or two late).

But isn’t that generally the (stereotypical) rule of thumb…man = remote-crazy? (Although I concede that my dad may have taken it a bit farther than that…)

Well mark this as yet another stereotype busted because Jason is pretty much the opposite. I am actually the one who is in possession of the remote more often than not in our family. This is largely due to the fact that I watch more TV during the week than Jason does (as you might recall).  But even on the weekend he pretty much avoids the TV unless there is something specific he wants to watch.  I think part of this also has to do with our differing abilities to focus and/or comfort level with noise. I have always been able to tune things out (TV, people talking around me, etc) when I am reading or doing other things that require attention.  In fact, I actually really like background noise…I find I get more distracted the quieter things are. In high school and college I always liked studying or writing papers with music in the background. And so today when I am cooking, surfing the internet, or even reading a magazine I often have the TV on too (usually on the Food Network which, not surprisingly, is my go-to when I need background noise or when there is nothing else on that interests me).

Jason is the exact opposite. He does not tolerate extraneous noise well and is easily distracted when the TV is on. So when he asks “are you watching that?” he is not usually asking because he wants to change the channel but because he wants to turn the TV off so he can focus on the latest issue of Wired or Kiplinger’s. This wasn’t always the case. While we were still dating Jason was more prone to turning the TV on, I think because he felt guilty pulling out the magazine or laptop when I was hanging out at his place and/or felt funny bringing it over when he was at mine. So it wasn’t until we got married that I realized how much extra TV (meaning stuff I don’t even like or care about) I actually watch during the week. 

But you know what they say about admitting a problem is the first step to recovery….lately I’ve been much more apt to turn the TV off if I am not watching something I actually care about. And I have to say, I am starting to enjoy the silence.

Pink Tasks/Blue Tasks

One of the most important conversations for newlyweds (or even for two people living together) to have is the one where you discuss/divvy up household chores.  This is a topic that can be fraught with frustration and tension and, if not handled properly, could possibly even lead to resentment for years to come.  In other words, YOU NEED TO DO IT.

As a modern woman, I have been brought up to believe that I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan (or something like that), that I can essentially have/do it all.  But the thing is, I don’t really want to do it all.  At least not all the time (and especially not when it comes to housework).  I am a firm believer that it is important for each member of a family to pull his/her own weight and for each person’s contribution to be recognized and respected.  Since Jason and I equally share the responsibility for generating income, it seems only natural that we also share other aspects of work that goes into building (and maintaining) a life together.

Deciding who is going to do what when it comes to household chores (the delineation of which Jason likes to call “Pink Tasks” and “Blue Tasks” for what I assume are obvious reasons :P) has been an evolving process, mostly because I didn’t make it easy on myself in the beginning. For all my talk about equality and partnership, I started things out on the opposite foot.  It was like the minute Jason moved in, this desire to be seen as some sort of domestic goddess and to make-a-nice-home-for-my-man kicked in and before I knew what was happening, I was doing the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry…and pretty much everything else.  And of course Jason didn’t complain because, let’s be honest, who doesn’t love to be taken care of?!  (Not me!) About two weeks into it, the honeymoon really was officially over and I realized we needed to change course IMMEDIATELY. 

Unfortunately, it took another month (and several discussions, passive aggressive comments and a handful of stupid fights) or so before I was able to completely undo the damage I had (inadvertently) done.  Today, however we have settled into a system of household tasks that pretty much works for us:

• My “Pink Tasks” include: Meal planning, cooking dinner, dusting, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, unloading the dishwasher*, doing laundry*, going to the grocery store*,  folding/putting away MY clothes, taking care of my car, paying the rent, and handling any Christmas/bday/thank you cards (and gifts) for friends and family. I also (more often than not) serve as social chair.
• Jason’s “Blue Tasks” include: making breakfast on the weekend, doing the dishes, paying bills and managing finances (including doing the taxes), vacuuming, making the bed in the morning,* watering the plants, folding/putting away HIS clothes, taking care of his car, and taking out the trash. He also serves as our IT administrator and electronics guru.

* 8 times out of 10 I unload the dishwasher (because even though Jason has lived here for 6 months he still doesn’t know where everything goes) and do the laundry but Jason occasionally pitches in as well.  Likewise, Jason makes the bed most of the time with me pitching in on the weekends.  Lately we have been going to the grocery store together but otherwise I go by myself.

As I said, this is still a work in progress and things are likely to change as our life together evolves. If and when we get a house/adopt a dog/have children, all of this will have to be revisited and revised. I should also say that this is what works for us...obviously not every couple is going to do things in the same way. What is important (in my only-been-married-six-months opinion) is that you have the conversation early and often in order to make sure that no one feels overburdened in the relationship.

I also think it is equally important to acknowledge the work your significant other is doing on a regular basis. It is easy to take things like cooking dinner 4-5 nights a week for granted after the novelty has worn off, but as the one doing it I know it is a lot of hard work. So when Jason sincerely thanks me for making him such an “awesome meal” it makes my effort seem worthwhile and helps keep me going. Likewise, I know that doing a sink full of dishes/vacuuming the apartment/fixing my computer when all he wants to do is read the latest issue of The Economist sucks, so I try and go out of my way to say “thank you” as often as possible.  Hopefully we’ll be able to keep this up for the next 20 years! But if not, at least I’ll have this blog to remind me of the good old days.

Being Settled/Weeknight Routines

One of things I have enjoyed most about being a newlywed is that general feeling of calm and contentment that comes from being settled. To me this is most evident in our weeknights. Jason and I did not live together until we got married and our pre-wedding weeknights were full of uncertainty—who’s apartment we were going to hang out at, whether we were going to eat dinner together or meet up afterwards (and if we were going to eat dinner—what/where?), etc.  Even when we planned these things out ahead of time, things never felt truly comfortable (or dare I say…settled). It got old.

Once we got married we quickly settled into a weeknight routine, and the effortlessness of it all was one of the first things I think we both equally appreciated about being married. So what does our routine look like? Since I work from home and have no commute, I generally try to have dinner on the table when Jason gets home from work around 6:30-7 (and by that time we are both pretty much starving anyway).  Jason usually does the dishes (much to my relief since cleaning is one of the things I hate most in the world) and we settle in to watch the news (if it is still on) or (my personal favorite) Jeopardy. 

I LOVE Jeopardy. I pretty much kick its butt most nights too. I recently took the online test but I think I got too nervous (it was my first time) and choked. I am hoping one day I can go on and win us some money.

 

That, however, is where our common routine usually ends. We definitely have different “styles” when it comes to weeknights, and that has taken some getting used to.  Because I work from home and don’t interact with actual people on a regular basis (my interactions are limited to phone and email most of the time), I am usually really excited to have someone home to talk to or even just to physically be around. Jason, on the other hand, is usually ready for some “alone time” and wants to do his own thing. At first I took this personally, but now don’t really mind it (most of the time).

Unless there is something on the TV that we are both interested in (e.g., How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, or 30 Rock), Jason usually heads to either 1) our bedroom (where his desk is also located) or 2) his green chair.  Jason did not bring much in the way of furniture to our relationship (thankfully—I already had plenty given that I’d lived alone for 4.5 years before we got married) but he did have a green chair and ottoman that we put into a corner of the living room that we turned into a reading nook.

Our reading nook and Jason's green chair

So while Jason is either reading or messing around on one of his computers, I usually spend the evening watching TV.  It’s bad I know, but I like to relax during the week and relaxing for me is doing something that doesn’t really require much in the way of brain power (Jeopardy aside). I like to read but that is something I usually do in the 30-40 minutes before I go to bed or on the weekend. 

Having a routine has its downfall though—it is easy to get in a rut. Things like Book Club help. As does making plans to meet up with friends for the occasional happy hour or dinner during the week. But more often than not, when Jason and I feel like our weeknights are hitting a rut we spice it up with….a game of Scrabble. That’s right, Scrabble. We are officially old, married, and boring. But at least we are settled!